The First Day of Midwinter

Icy wind swirled around him. Every direction was white, the dark clouds overhead barely visible through the blizzard. His bones ached as he struggled onward up the slope. The cold mountain air fought back against every step.

When he looked down, he saw brown furred paws. Strange, he thought; they had definitely been hooves the last time he checked. Or perhaps they’d always been like that. He couldn’t remember.

It had been days since he last ate. His stomach had gone beyond growling and was now whining pitiably, begging to be fed. There was no food anywhere to be seen.

Gradually, through the haze of snow, an opening became visible. Inside, a white goat was lying motionlessly on its side. It wasn’t breathing. As he approached, the goat’s head turned slowly to regard him with closed eyes. “If you’re hungry, you should eat something,” it said in a raspy voice.

“But there’s nothing here for me to eat,” he said to it.

“It’s right here in front of you,” the goat said, opening its eyes. Its gaze seemed to pass right through him. “Aren’t I?”

“But you’re my friend. I can’t eat you.”

“Oh well,” the goat said resignedly, resting its head back down on the compacted snow. Ice began to creep slowly up its body. “I guess both of us will die here, then.” The goat closed its eyes as the ice covered its head.

Mei jolted awake, panting heavily. His body felt cold. Gradually, as the distinction between dream and reality reasserted itself, he began to calm down. A few feet beside him, Gabu slept soundly.

Snowflakes fell outside. It was almost completely dark, but Mei could just make out the thin dusting of snow that already coated the grass of the meadow. The first snow of the year; Midwinter had officially started.

Turning around so he wouldn’t have to look at the snow, Mei stepped carefully between Gabu’s sprawled legs and curled up alongside him. His husband’s fur was refreshingly warm, and sleep soon returned to him.

The next thing Mei was aware of was the smell of freshly picked clovers. He opened his eyes in time to see Gabu laying a large leaf-full of slightly damp-looking clovers in front of him.

Gabu smiled proudly at him. “Good morning, Mei. It snowed last night. Isn’t it wonderful?”

Sure enough, the ground outside was now covered several inches deep with snow. The reflected light from the morning sun made it almost painful to look at. It also intruded a short distance into their cave, where the wind had blown it inside.

“It sure did,” Mei said, turning his attention to the meal Gabu had set in front of him. “Is this for me?”

Gabu nodded. “I woke up early today, so I thought I’d get you a treat.” He looked wistfully outside. “I wanted to get some blueberries for us to share, but the path up Waku Waku Hill would be too slippery in this weather. I wouldn’t want to fall and hurt my leg again, not when it’s only just finished healing.”

“Thank you,” Mei said, and began eating the clovers. The melted snow had leeched away some of their flavour and wilted them slightly, but they were nice all the same. Nicer still was seeing Gabu’s happy face as he watched him eat them.

“Do you want to go out and play in the snow?” Gabu asked hopefully when Mei had finished eating.

Mei looked out at the pale white desert and the barren trees in the distance.

Gabu must have noticed his lack of enthusiasm. “Or we could stay inside until it warms up a little,” he said. “It looks like the snow is here to stay, so there’s no rush.”

“Staying inside for now sounds nice,” Mei said.

The two of them lay facing each other in the relative warmth of their cave, Mei facing away from the cave mouth and Gabu facing towards it. They didn’t speak much, at least not with words. Just being together was more than enough.

The comfortable silence was broken some time later by the sound of flapping wings. Mei turned around to greet the three visiting sparrows.

“Happy Midwinter!” Hilari said as she and her parents landed inside the cave.

Mei smiled. Even after all these months, it was strange seeing Hilari all grown up, a fully fledged adult sparrow. Mei still thought of her as a little chick. “Happy Midwinter,” he replied.

“Midwinter?” Gabu said. “What’s so especially happy about it?”

“Oh, it’s just something they celebrate here in the Emerald Forest,” Mei said. “I don’t know much about it; I wasn’t really paying attention last year.”

“You weren’t here for last Midwinter either?” Hilari said to Gabu. “That’s cool. It’ll be the first time for both of us.”

“Midwinter is a celebration of the days starting to get longer and the weather getting warmer again,” Riri explained. “‘If you can survive until Midwinter,’ the saying goes, ‘you can survive until spring.’ It starts with the first snowfall of the year and ends after twelve days.”

“It also gives people something to look forward to when the weather’s getting colder,” Toto said. “Especially youngsters who’ve yet to see their first one,” he said with a wink to Hilari.

“That sounds wonderful,” Gabu said. “What are the celebrations?”

“In the past,” Riri said, “everyone’s kept to their own species and done their own thing. We usually just roll around in the snow and have fun with the other sparrows. But I get the feeling this year will be different.”

“I can’t wait,” Mei said. He was already envisioning a twelve-day long Anything Day, the whole forest joining in and having fun together, regardless of species. “Do you think the regular groups will still meet up as usual?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” Toto said. “We’ll have to see what happens with Theatre Day tomorrow.”

“Greta’s play is coming along nicely,” Gabu said. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind missing…” there was a pause as he counted in his head, “…two, no, three practice sessions if everyone wants to celebrate together instead.”

“Let’s see what happens,” Mei said. “How’s Camille doing?” he asked Hilari, and the five of them spent the next hour or so chatting.

By the time the sparrows had gone, it was midday. The air felt a little warmer than it had been that morning, but the snow showed no sign of starting to melt.

“Do you want to go out and play now?” Gabu said.

“Sure,” Mei said. How bad could it be out there?

Grinning with delight, Gabu bounded out of the cave and down the slope of the hill, looking back and waiting for Mei to follow him.

Mei stood at the cave mouth and looked around. The snow in the meadow was almost completely undisturbed, save for where Gabu had trodden through it earlier and just now. The sky was white with wispy clouds, blending into the ground on the horizon. It’s just snow, Mei told himself. It can’t hurt you.

He stepped out into the snow.

The feeling of cold was muted through his hooves. Walking took slightly more effort than usual as he pushed aside snow with each step. The sensation wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t especially unpleasant either. He soon got the hang of it and started to trot down the hill. Huh, he thought to himself, this isn’t as bad as I—

Suddenly, he lost his footing, and before he knew what was going on, he was skidding down the hill, unable to regain purchase on the slippery ground. He barely had a chance to cry out in alarm before landing hard on his side and sliding the rest of the way down. His vision went white. Detail blurred as the icy wind swirled around him. He couldn’t think straight. Every part of him ached. A distant voice called, “Mei, are you all right?!”

He scrambled to stand up, franticly shaking the clinging snow from his fur. He shivered from the cold. He turned his head this way and that, but every direction was white. A brown furred face appeared suddenly, filling his vision, looking at him with concerned eyes.

“Gabu,” Mei whined.

“It’s okay,” Gabu said softly. “Let’s go back inside.”

Mei followed his husband as they walked slowly back up the hill and into the safety of their cave. It wasn’t warm inside, but it was better than out there. He glanced briefly back at the oppressive whiteness of the world outside, and then buried his face in Gabu’s fur.

“You’re scared of it, aren’t you?” Gabu said.

Mei nodded, laughing weakly. “It’s silly of me, I know. I wasn’t like this last year. Well, I was more worried about you at the time. I just can’t stop thinking about…” he inclined his head westward, towards the cave entrance.

“The mountain,” Gabu said. “But that’s over now. We both got through it alive.”

“I know. There are just so many ways it could have gone more badly than it did. I could have frozen to death. You could have starved.” You could have eaten me, he thought but didn’t say. “The wolves could have caught us. I can’t explain it. I’m not even sure that there’s anything to explain. I just…don’t like snow.”

Gabu lowered his head sadly.

“I’m sorry,” Mei said. “I know you were looking forward to us playing together.”

“What?” Gabu said, lifting his head again with a slight smile. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I had no idea you felt that way. I should have noticed sooner that something wasn’t right. But it sounded like you were looking forward to celebrating Midwinter when Riri and the others were talking about it.”

“I guess I wasn’t really thinking about the snow itself,” Mei said. “Just everyone being together and having fun.”

“Maybe you’ll feel better about it with more people around?” Gabu said. “I’d hate to think of you being stuck inside for the rest of the winter, or however long this weather lasts for.”

“I’ll have to leave eventually, whether I want to or not. But for today, can we just stay inside?”

“Of course,” Gabu said, and he lay down beside Mei, shielding him from the icy wind outside.