Chapter 18

Some time later, Mii cleared her throat and everyone looked in her direction. “Grandma…” she began hesitantly, “Grandma said that after she passed away, she would like to invite the wolves of Baku Baku Valley to”—she glanced apologetically at Mei—“to eat her body, if they would like.”

Mei, who hadn’t moved from Grandma’s side, was only a little surprised by this. After spending two years of their life struggling to reconcile Gabu’s need to eat meat with their own sense of right and wrong, it was the same kind of decision they might have made for themself. In truth, it wasn’t too different from the decision they had tried to make during the blizzard atop the mountain. Even though no wolf was currently at risk of starving, eating Grandma’s body might mean that countless smaller animals didn’t have to die that day.

The thought that Grandma too had cared enough to make that decision for herself brought another wave of tears to Mei’s eyes. He nodded his head at Mii to let her know he didn’t have a problem with it. Mii acknowledged him, and then turned to look expectantly at Lala.

Lala clearly had not been expecting this announcement. She looked down at where Grandma lay peacefully on the meadow grass, and then back up at Mii, seemingly unsure of herself. The look on her face was another reminder of the events of that blizzard; it bore a striking resemblance to how Gabu had looked when faced with the prospect of eating his best friend, a confused mixture of hunger and revulsion. Then, a moment later, Lala’s face changed almost imperceptibly. Now there was a slight sparkle in her eyes, which Mei also recognised, this time from Takkan. It was the look that a very clever person got when they had just thought several steps ahead of everyone else and seen something they liked.

Lala cleared her throat. “The offer is greatly appreciated,” she said. “I myself have promised not to eat another goat. However, if any of my fellow wolves would like to do so, we can certainly make arrangements for Grandma’s body to be taken to a discrete location and her wish carried out.”

The other wolves, still gathered behind Lala, looked at one another uncertainly. “But she’s the Elder,” Zack said. “We know her. I mean, we knew her. Wouldn’t eating her be wrong?” There were a few murmurs of agreement from the assembled wolves.

Lala turned to face them. “If you think eating a goat that’s already dead and has invited you to do so is distasteful, moonlight knows what you must think of killing one that wishes to live.” She gestured with a paw at the grieving goats behind her. “Would you rather eat one of these goats instead? Hypothetically, of course.”

For several seconds, the wolves of Baku Baku Valley were silent. Then a wolf around Boro’s age Mei didn’t recognise spoke out. “The goats have been kind to us, even after everything we did to them. Can’t we just leave them alone?”

Lala nodded approvingly at the wolf who had spoken. “An interesting idea, Tomo, and one I think we should give careful consideration to. It’s time we decided, once and for all, whether we are a wolf pack that eats goats, or whether we are not. If any one of us still wishes to eat goats, then that’s what we’ll do, starting with the Elder Goat. However, if we collectively decide not to eat the Elder’s body, we must extend this decision to all goats. It would be most dishonourable of us to pass up eating one goat and then take the life of another, don’t you think? So, what will it be? Who here thinks we should eat Grandma?”

The wolf standing next to the one Lala had called Tomo said, “We’re getting pretty damn good at hunting deer now, and they’ve got more meat on ‘em anyway. I say we give up on goats.” There were several nods of agreement at that remark.

“That’s a good point, Kazu,” Lala said. “Does anyone else have thoughts on the matter? If you have any wish to continue eating goats, step forward now.”

Incredibly, not a single wolf spoke up, and not a single one stepped forward.

“Then it’s decided,” Lala said, and she turned back around to face the herd. “The wolf pack currently residing at Baku Baku Valley will henceforth abstain from eating goats.”

Mii gave a half-smile. “Grandma had a feeling you might say that,” she said.

“A deal is a deal,” Lala said quietly, so that only those closest could hear. Mei wasn’t sure what she meant by that.

To Mei’s surprise, it was Gabu who spoke next. “We could take her into the forest,” he said. “If we’re not going to eat her, someone else might as well, right? Then any other animals who eat her won’t have to kill anyone else today.” Gabu looked to Mei, asking them without words what they thought of the idea. Everyone else followed his lead, looking to Mei for a decision.

Mei considered what Grandma would have wanted. Her offer to let the wolves eat her body had been, it now appeared, her last ever attempt at establishing a lasting peace between the goats and the wolves. Mei’s eyes once again filled with tears at the thought of that—not only from sadness, but also from the immense pride they felt for their grandmother’s actions over the past year. Even so, Grandma must have considered the possibility that the wolves would accept her offer. She must have been content with her body being eaten for the good of those who outlived her. Mei swallowed. “Y-yes, let’s do that.”

In the end, it was Gabu, Lala and a few of the other wolves who volunteered to take Grandma’s body into the forest. “We won’t eat her. You have my word,” Lala said.

Mei had already said everything they could think to say to Grandma, but since this was the last time they would ever have the chance to, they needed to say goodbye to her one last time. The other goats and wolves gave them some space. After a few false starts, Mei eventually said, “I love you,” his voice barely audible, and that was all he could manage.

Between them, the wolves lifted Grandma off the ground as respectfully as they could and placed her on Gabu and Lala’s backs. Mei couldn’t bring himself to watch as they carried her away.

“I’m sorry it happened like this,” Mii said. “Grandma knew she was dying even before I did, but she didn’t want you to find out from Ugui or another bird. Honestly, I’m amazed she stayed with us for as long as she did. She didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

“She’s been there for me all my life,” Mei said. “She was there for all of us. I can’t believe…” they trailed off, suddenly unable to speak.

“I know,” Mii said.

Then Mei was crying, and Mii was comforting them, and the goats of Sawa Sawa Mountain bowed their heads in mourning.

Gabu, Lala and the other wolves accompanying them (none of whom Gabu had ever been particularly friendly with) carried Grandma’s body into the forest in silence. Gabu got the impression that the other wolves wanted to talk, but having him there made it too awkward.

The first clearing they came to, Lala said, “How about here?”

Gabu inspected it briefly, and then shook his head. He wasn’t sure what kind of place Grandma would have found peaceful, but he owed it to Mei to at least find somewhere special. Without another word, they moved on from the clearing. The next spot they considered was a patch of clovers, which Gabu almost agreed to, but he eventually decided against it since some of the goats might come here to graze.

After examining another couple of potential places, neither of which seemed to Gabu to have quite the right atmosphere, a large frog hopped right in front of them. Its croak of “gero-gero” sounded almost like Giro’s name, something that had always amused Gabu whenever he heard it. The frog took one look at the wolves and then hopped away into the bushes.

“We’d better hurry up and choose somewhere to leave her,” Lala said. “Frogs croaking means it’s about to rain.”

“That can’t be right,” one of the other wolves said. “The sky was clear when we left.”

“I saw a raincloud in the south,” another said. “That might be it.”

Gabu wasn’t listening. That frog had reminded him of the perfect place to take Grandma. Towards the end of that fateful summer when he and Mei had first become friends, Gabu had tried to meet up with Mei at the top of Kira Kira Hill to see the rainbow that sometimes appeared there after sudden light rain. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—Grandma had also wanted to see the rainbow with Mei and the others that day. Gabu, pretending to be a frog, had been close enough to overhear her telling Mei about the time she had visited that hill with Mei’s grandfather.

“The rainbow I got to see with your grandfather was breathtakingly beautiful,” Grandma had said. “I wanted to show this place to your mother too, but there never was a good rain for it, and so I never got the chance to.”

“I know where to take her,” Gabu said, interrupting the other wolves’ discussion on whether the raincloud had been drifting north or south.

“Lead the way,” Lala said.

The rain started a few minutes after that. It was a long way to Kira Kira Hill, and most of the other wolves decided to go home since with Lala and Gabu carrying Grandma, there wasn’t much for them to do. Lala strode purposefully forward, undeterred by the rain. Gabu didn’t mind it either; it was very light, almost as if the sky were crying for Grandma. It probably wouldn’t be quite the right kind of rain for a rainbow—it very rarely was—but Gabu couldn’t help but hope.

It was the silence that bothered Gabu more than the rain. The two wolves who continued to follow behind them didn’t seem interested in talking, so Gabu took it upon himself to start a conversation with the wolf walking alongside him. “So, you’re the leader of the pack now,” he said.

Lala looked sideways at him. “That’s right,” she said neutrally. “I’ve been the leader ever since we learned that Giro wasn’t coming back from trying to kill you.”

What could Gabu say to that? “I’m glad you’re not trying to kill me. I’m glad you don’t have a problem with me and Mei being friends.”

Lala signalled for them to halt. She turned towards him as much as she could under their shared load. “As a matter of fact, I’d have preferred it if you had never met that goat.”

That took Gabu by surprise. The messages Grandma had sent them over the past few months had made it sound like Lala was fine with goats and wolves being friends with one another. Unless… Could it be that Lala was jealous?

“Gee, Lala,” he said, all too aware that this was the worst possible time to be having this conversation, but something had to be said. “You’re really pretty and smart and everything, and I’d be happy to be friends with you, but I don’t think anything like that would’ve worked out between us.”

One of the wolves behind them made a sudden noise that might have been a cough. Lala gave Gabu an affronted, incredulous look, and for a moment he worried that he’d hurt her feelings. But then she seemed to compose herself. She signalled for them to continue walking forward. “I shall contain my disappointment,” she said. Her voice sounded a little sarcastic, but Gabu wasn’t sure why. He’d tried to be as polite as he could. “But I was more referring to the fact that if you and Mei had never met, my brother would still be alive.”

“Oh,” Gabu said. It had momentarily slipped his mind that Bari had died in the same avalanche that killed Giro. He wasn’t sure what to say that would comfort her. He and Bari had never gotten on well together, even before everyone had found out about Mei. What’s more, if Giro or Bari had still been alive, there was no way it would have been safe for him and Mei to return here.

Lala broke the silence while he was still trying to figure out what to say. “But what’s done is done,” she said. “Giro’s poor decision making was more to blame for what happened than anything you did. I’m not going to make those same mistakes.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” And then, to change the subject, he said, “Were you and Grandma close friends?”

“I think there was a spark of friendship between us, or at least the potential for one, but I wouldn’t call us close. Certainly not the kind of ‘friendship’ you and Mei have, not by any stretch of the imagination.”

“She spoke fondly of you in her messages to us,” Gabu said. “At least, some of the time she did. Other times, she was frustrated because she didn’t understand why you were doing things, but she always believed you were doing what you thought was the right thing, that you were a good person at heart, even when you pretended not to be.”

Lala opened her mouth as if about to respond to that, and then closed it again. After a while, she said, “The Elder Goat always thought the best of people, even when they didn’t deserve it. At first I thought she was just naïve, but maybe… maybe sometimes if you trust someone to be good, they’ll rise to your expectations. Maybe she made me a better person than I was.”

“I think she was right,” Gabu said. Lala didn’t respond to that, and they continued walking forward in silence.

The rain eased just as they were arriving at Kira Kira Hill. Gabu kept looking up at the sky, but still there was no rainbow. The other wolves waited at the base of the hill as he and Lala circled up and around it, towards a rocky ledge just below the summit that looked out over the lake. Grandma had said that this was the best place to see the rainbow from, and it was there Gabu wanted to take her, rainbow or not.

The view of the lake was beautiful, even in the receding rain. As they walked along the curving path towards the ledge, Gabu was so distracted looking at the lake that when Lala stopped suddenly, Gabu almost dropped the part of Grandma he was carrying. He looked forward just as Mei’s voice said, “Gabu?!”

“Mei?!” Gabu said, almost dropping Grandma for a second time. Sure enough, his husband was staring at him in disbelief, standing a short distance in front of him on the very ledge they had been walking towards. Alongside Mei were Mii, Tapu, Boro and an elderly goat Gabu didn’t know the name of.

“What are you doing here?” Gabu and Mei said in unison. Both of them were too bewildered to respond.

“It was my idea,” Mii said. “It looked like the right kind of rain for a rainbow, so we decided that coming here again would be the best way of honouring Grandma’s memory.”

“I believe Gabu had a very similar idea,” Lala said. “Shall we?” she said to Gabu.

“What do you think, Mei?” Gabu said. “I couldn’t think of anywhere better.”

“This is perfect,” Mei said, smiling through their tears.

Slowly and gently, Gabu and Lala laid Grandma’s body down at the front of the ledge, her head looking out over the lake. She looked entirely peaceful there, as if resting after a long day. No sooner had they done so than the rain stopped at last.

“Look,” Mei said, gazing out at the sky.

Everyone looked up just in time to see a perfect rainbow appearing over the lake. The completely still water reflected its light, making a vast halo of shimmering light that framed the gorgeous landscape around it.

“Safe travels, Mari,” Rōjin said.

“A fitting end to a remarkable goat’s life,” Lala said.

“She was the best grandma anyone could hope for,” Tapu said tearily.

“To all of us,” Mii said.

“To all of us,” Boro echoed.

Far too soon, the rainbow faded back into the clear blue sky from which it had come. The rainclouds that had helped to form it had already dissipated.

Gabu and Mei were the last to leave. “Goodbye, Grandma,” Mei said. They were still distraught beyond words, but they chose to see the rainbow as one last message from Grandma to them, reassuring them that everything would be all right. The distance between them was now far greater than any mountain, but Mei felt sure that Grandma would continue to find ways to make her love known to him regardless. This rainbow was proof of that. “Thank you for always being there for me.”

The seven of them reconvened near the top of the hill, on the opposite side of the summit from the ledge where Grandma now lay. None of them seemed particularly inclined to return home just yet.

“Thank you for taking care of Mari,” Rōjin said to Mii. “She spoke often of how much she appreciated you. We’re lucky to have a healer as skilled as you.”

“Thank you,” Mii said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for her when it mattered.”

“You made her comfortable. Sometimes that’s all that can be done.”

Mii nodded her head. “I guess you’re the Elder now.”

“I suppose I am,” Rōjin said. “To be honest, though, I’m not sure where to begin. Mari asked me to continue the work she had started towards improving our relations with the wolves. She told me I should speak with all of you about how to go about doing that.”

“There’ll be time for that later,” Lala said. “I, for one, am entirely willing to cooperate with you towards that end.”

“Yeah,” Boro said, “we’ll help.”

“Can you tell me more about her?” Mei said, surprising everyone.

Everyone followed Mei’s gaze to Rōjin, who looked thoughtful. “She never told you much about her past, did she?”

Mei shook their head.

Rōjin gazed into the distance. “Your grandmother was born a few months before I was. She was a troublemaker, just like you, always going places she shouldn’t, oftentimes associating with people our parents didn’t want us associating with. It was a less enlightened time back then, you see.”

“She told me she once made friends with a goat from Para Para Fields,” Mei said. “He became the Elder there, didn’t he? Kuro-san’s grandfather.”

“That’s right,” Rōjin said. “I’m ashamed to say that in those days, associating with goats from Para Para Fields was very much frowned upon. Your grandmother was the one who first challenged that belief.”

“Huh?” Tapu said.

Rōjin smiled wistfully. “I told you she was a troublemaker. One day, she went right up to our Elder at the time and demanded that he allow her friend to come and visit.”

“What did he say?” Boro said.

“He declined at first. He told her that he was personally fine with it, but that the other adult goats wouldn’t like it, and he had to take their wishes into consideration. So, being Mari, she went around to all the adults one by one and told them her thoughts on the matter. Not all of them listened, but she was persistent. Eventually, very gradually, things started to change, and now here we are.”

“Was that goat your grandfather?” Gabu asked Mei.

“No,” Mei said. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“No,” Rōjin confirmed. “Your grandfather was from our herd. He was a few months older than Mari, and he died not long after your mother was born. Mari was heartbroken. Did she never tell you about him?”

“Only bits and pieces,” Mei said.

“He was a good person,” Rōjin said. “I see a lot of him in you.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Boro said as they made their way back to Sawa Sawa Mountain. “I know that whole ‘starting a new wolf pack’ thing was just to stop Gururi from starting a fight…”

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Lala said, feigning innocence.

“But maybe it’s for the best that we stop thinking of ourselves as the Baku Baku wolf pack.”

“How do you mean?” Mii said.

“I mean, what do most goats think of when they hear the name Baku Baku Valley?” Boro said.

“Danger,” Tapu said.

“Right. And I expect most wolves still think of food whenever they hear about Sawa Sawa Mountain.”

“You think we should change the names?” Gabu said.

“I think that might help,” Boro said. “But also, I’m not sure we should be thinking of ourselves as ‘the wolf pack’ and ‘the goat herd’ at all, y’know? It’s like there’s an us, and there’s a them, but there’s no us. Sorry, I’m not explaining it very well. I mean, what if we were all part of something bigger, something that unites us as one big group?”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Mei said. “Grandma would have liked it.”

Gabu smiled at him, and Mei managed a smile in return.

“I’m reluctant to abandon the idea of us as a herd,” Rōjin said. “But perhaps you’re right that our new alliance ought to be formalised.”

“I agree,” Lala said. “What should our alliance be called?”

“I was thinking, the Rainbow Alliance,” Boro said sheepishly. “And if we want to keep referring to ourselves as a pack too, we could be the Rainbow Pack.”

Lala stared at him. “I am not calling myself a rainbow wolf.”

Mii stifled a laugh.

“Yeah,” Boro said, laughing nervously. “I guess that would be a little undignified. What was it Grandma said after that night in the barn? ‘We may come from opposite sides of the river…’”

“‘But we all live under the same sky,’” Rōjin said with another wistful smile. “I remember it because she used a very similar phrase when she was trying to improve relations with Para Para Fields. I believe it comes from a phrase in the old language, onaji sora no shita de.”

“Sora…” Mii said. “What if we called ourselves the Sora Sora Alliance?”

“It does have a nice ring to it,” Lala said. “The Sora Sora Pack, part of the Sora Sora Alliance.”

“Would that make us the Sora Sora Herd?” Tapu said.

“It would take some getting used to,” Rōjin said, “but I do like the sound of that. It honours Mari’s legacy.”

“Then it’s decided,” Lala said. “From this day forward, we are all members of the Sora Sora Alliance.”

“Should we not discuss this with the rest of the herd and pack before making any decisions?” Rōjin said.

Lala laughed. “Right, I forgot you goats can’t decide on anything without talking it over first. How do you get anything done?” Then, a moment later, her smile faltered. “My apologies, that was unkind of me. No offence meant.”

“None taken,” Rōjin said.

Boro stared at Lala in astonishment. “What has gotten into you?”

“I made a promise,” Lala said quietly.